Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
