this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
