I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
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