Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize