he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How does one acquire holy water?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
