that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
