At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
