Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
this will be a night to untag.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
