He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
