The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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