I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm both gender and math confused
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
