Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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