Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
