It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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