I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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