I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize