OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
