i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
