I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
