I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
