imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
