i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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