so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
