so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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