I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
