You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
