I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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