Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
