well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
