you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
