I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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