drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
