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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
