He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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