Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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