So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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