Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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