I can text with my tongue
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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