is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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