Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
