so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize