does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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