Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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