how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
