She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
