dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
