is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
