Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
