"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
