I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
