I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
