I wannas sexs uuuuu
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
