i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
