ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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