we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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