Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
