I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
