Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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