Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
