If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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