then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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