I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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