i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
