Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
