Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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