Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
