Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
