she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
